Good cop – Bad Cop

February 22 2020

Rome, Italy

Hooray I slept in
today. Didn’t wake up until 4 am, I must be getting used to the
time change. The hotel has breakfast included I the price, so I
begged a cup of coffee at 7am. Breakfast runs from 730 to 10:30. I
emerged from my room around 8 and there was nothing left. I guess
I’ll have to be faster tomorrow.

The first place I
wanted to visit today was a subway ride away and the closest entrance
as closed for, I don’t know. Lent? Repair? Friday? Who knows. The
next closest was at the Spanish Steps a manageable walk. “Just go
out the door. Go down the hill past the American Embassy and turn
left at the end of the street”. The U.S. Embassy is directly catty
corner from my hotel. My phone and Google maps were not being good
companions this morning. Both the available ways were downhill. Right
on the corner is the rear entrance to the embassy. There was a green
soldier (Italian) and a blue cop (also Italian). Mom always told me
if I needed help to ask a cop. I walked up to him and, honestly
before I could open my mouth he said “I don’t know!” I said you
do know, he said “No I don’t know”. Me, Yes, Him “No”. So
plan B. Ask the soldier. “Is the Spanish Steps that way or that
way?” – Spanish steps? Uh … Oh! Espania Plaza. Hey Mario (Blue
cop) Which way is the Spanish Steps? (This was all in Italian) –
Me, don’t ask him, he’s got a stick up his butt – Blue Boy “Go
this way to the end of the street, turn left and right at the first
street” (In flawless, but accented English) – Me See I knew that
you knew ! Thank you VERY much. His directions were perfect.

The Spanish Steps
left me baffled. What is the big flipping deal? They are nice stairs
leading from a plaza to a church, with a small fountain at the bottom
covered in tourists. Even without the tourists I wouldn’t have been
awed. It must go back to the Audrey Hepburn effect. Even if she and
Cary Grant, or Rock Hudson or what male lead she was with sat there
and licked fancy ice cream, it still wasn’t worth much more that a
second glance. Especially now that sitting is no longer allowed. I
got a cup of coffee and a croissant for half the price of a cup of
coffee at the Colosseum subway station. The prices I this town really
vary from cheap to stupidly inflated. Enough sightseeing, time to get
back on the trail.

Into the maw of the
subway. Insert ticket, do it’s thing and door should open. NOT!
Show ticket to nearby cop and explain. He inspects the ticket I think
he must be from the C.S.I. division. Begrudgingly he opens the
special gate for me and allows me to pass into the hollowed grounds
of Rome’s Metro. I get on the right train, change lines like a
local and get off a the correct station.

At street level I
know my destination is at one end of the Circus Maxims, but this end
or that end? Ah, barret wearing machine gun toting cops. I whip out
my map like an old west gunslinger and point to where I wanted to go.
“Here or there?”. There, of course. Oh well, the sun is out, the
scenery is interesting, a great day for a walk. I hit he Tiber and
realize I might have gone awry. Another co in a blue suit and golden
epaulettes showed me the error of my ways. A block back and uphill
and I was getting close. The yoga guy (not a cop, I think) pointed I
was on the right track. A bit ore uphill and there was the line of
people waiting! I’d made it! I now you are saying all this for a
line? Well it was what was at the end of the line, a key hole in a
door. No there is no hot babe or dude slowly undressing, it is a
view of three countries. Italy

On the way back to
the subway I passed a church that the guide from my first day
recommended and went in. I sure wish he was with me, because the
whole thing was lost on me, and I think that is a pity. I did find an
altar to light candles so I lit one for all the Papists I know and
love.

Back at the subway I
got off at the main terminal and left the underground and went up to
buy a ticket to Florence on Monday. Then went back down to the
subway, tried my unexpired ticket in the machine. Handed it to a
subway cop, he gave it a quick glance and opened the doors to the
train. Back at the Spanish Steps I made a last review of the site
from the bottom an the top and came away with my opinion unchanged. A
short walk back to the Trevi Fountain to see it in the daylight. It
is much better in the evening. I bought an ice cream. It was double
the price of ice cream at the Colosseum. Crazy. I noshed and watched
people for a bit. One rough looking guy was checking people coming
out of the money exchange and then stood with is back to the fountain
and very closely checked people out. Not just

I only at half of my
overpriced ice cream and was about to throw it away. At the trash can
was the dirtiest man I have ever seen this side of Bangladesh. He
hadn’t seen water since the last rain. He was Caucasian, but you
couldn’t tell from looking at him. He was rifling through the trash
for half smoked cigarettes. He was carefully straightening them and
setting them aside. That I understood. I used to be a smoker and
might have done the same in his circumstances. I asked him is he
would like my ice cream. He snatched it like a Cobra and said in
perfect English “Thank you”.

Back at the hotel I
checked my Apple watch and found out I had walked over 6 miles today,
and yesterday, and the day before too. I laid on the bed and cried
when I had to stand. Eventually I did have to stand and walk back
down to the Trevi fountain to a restaurant that caught my eye for
dinner. With dinner finished, I think the only walking I’ll be
doing is the walk to the Taxi stand.